If there’s one thing Disney knows how to do, it’s make money. Lots of it.The billion-dollar “High School Musical” franchise reached more than 255 million viewers in more than 20 languages across 100 countries.It started out as the most successful Disney Channel original movie in history, with 7.7 million viewers watching the premiere broadcast. The DVD sold 1.2 million copies in the first six days. The success spawned a sequel, High School Musical 2, which was named the No. 1 basic cable telecast of all time. Next month a third movie will debut as a wide theatrical release. In 2006 the movie garnered an Emmy award for best choreography, and the soundtrack was the best-selling soundtrack album of the year. The franchise also includes a sold-out concert tour, video games (including a karaoke sing-along), books, dolls and “High School Musical on Ice.”Thousands of high schools across the nation bought the rights to put on their own production of the hit movie. Even the University theatre decided to make HSM its main stage production for the semester.Newsflash: We’re not in high school anymore. In fact, the target audience for the movie franchise isn’t even high schoolers. It’s “tweens,” or 10-15 year olds.The clean and wholesome storyline is aimed at kids who haven’t yet had to face the harsh realities of high school.And while updated for today’s youngsters, the plot stays true to Disney tradition in that it’s about as close to reality as all the flying fairies and fanciful animated animals of yesteryear.One main character is popular Troy Bolton, the star of the basketball team who secretly wants to be a drama queen despite his coach/father’s wishes. He has a secret fling with Gabriella Montez, who is a math nerd with the confidence, talent and good looks to also gain a starring role in the school musical.The actual musical is called “Juliet and Romeo,” so named for its sunny adaptation from Shakespeare’s original play. In this version no one dies and the couples lives happily ever after in Albuquerque. The real conflict of the movie is that Bolton and Montez want to break out of their respective cliqués and be prima donnas in the musical. At one point everyone is encouraged to maintain the “status quo” of their respective cliqués via a number involving dancing on cafeteria tables. At this point members of each stereotypical group stand up and tell their dirty little secrets, which include such appalling obsessions as baking and cello playing.Eventually everyone comes to the agreement, through compromise and dance numbers, that you can be whoever you want to be. In the final scene, the whole school, dressed in school colors of course, sings together and pats each other on the back for a job well done.With all the joyful singing and stereotypes and concern for the well-being of others, I might as well be watching Cinderella turn into a pumpkin.In the words of Hermione Granger, it has “the emotional depth of a teaspoon.”Which is fine for tweens. It’s good to dream big at that age. But why is the University using time and resources for a production aimed at youngsters?Answer: They’re going to rake in the cash. I attended the opening night of the production last Wednesday and right in the front row was a girl around 8 years old dressed in Gabriella’s famous red dress with family in tow.I recognized the dress because I was forced to watch the original movie with my 5-year-old cousin.I visited Florida this summer for her birthday party. Guess what the theme was. I don’t exaggerate when I say that every single present she received was a HSM-related Disney product, from dolls to beach towels to a sing-along microphone. She even got a dress-up kit, and I helped her into Gabriella’s shiny red dress.I won’t delve into Disney-mania that literally owns every single child raised in America; that’s another column. My point is the University, a place of higher education and learning, should not be wasting their time — or ours — on this vapid moneymaker.It wastes the talent of the theater students and numbs the minds of all the students required to watch for their theater classes.People should leave the theater at least a little different than they came in to it, whether they learn something about themselves or the world around them, or whether they simply connect with a character.There is really nothing to be learned from HSM, even for a youngster. Problems and cliqué issues are not resolved with a song and a dance in high school. Fathers are not usually so understanding of their star athlete’s desire to prance across a stage. And teenagers generally favor their best interests over others’, to put it lightly. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not criticizing the actual production of LSU theatre. The staging and choreography and acting was all fine and dandy, especially Sharpay and her fabulous jazz square-loving brother.I just don’t think the University should be choosing plays by how much money they will make. That’s what fundraisers are for.- – – -Contact Lauren Walck at [email protected]