A recent advertisement in the greatest publication since The Book of Mormon caught my eye the other day. While I am usually loathe to comment on the ads that pay my salary, this one was so odd and offensive I could not let it escape my notice.
The advertisement, which was paid for by the campus organization Smokingwords and the Louisiana Campaign for Tobacco-Free Living, assumes the voice of what I can only assume is a disenchanted non-smoker besieged by the noxious fumes that apparently permeate this campus. The poor soul, whose olfactory, pulmonary and cardiovascular systems face daily assault from vile smokers, bewails his oppressors wretched stench and runs down a litany of what they may catch if brought to prolonged exposure – ending in the possibility of lung cancer or heart disease.
Speaking as one of the admittedly damned – though I have cut down from 30 to 20 cigarettes a day – I am shocked at the notion that our Harvard on the Mississippi resembles the Bulgarian cafe that the ad presents. How it is on a campus where smoking is banned in dormitories, dining halls, campus buildings, offices and University vehicles there can be any hysteria over smoking? Is it so big of a deal for the non-smoking majority to walk through an occasional cloud of smoke? Perhaps no more than it is for me to read the absurd kvetching of anti-smoking crusaders who have moved away from merely educating their audience about the dangers of smoking – which I readily admit – into insulting smokers and rampant fear mongering.
Still, I believe unreservedly in absolute freedom of speech. Taken on its merits, I would rather see the existence of such propaganda than its suppression. Indeed, after a brief period of anger, I was actually quite bemused by the ad itself. After all, anything that can be cut out of the newspaper and placed in an area where second-hand smoke bothers one is worth two hoots at least. I’ve attached a copy above my desk. I am soon to place one above my home ashtray.
For those of us living in the real world, some perspective is needed. Smoking is no longer as popular as it used to be throughout both Louisiana and the rest of the Union. Outside of the South, smoking bans are slowly becoming the norm, with increased prices and decreased consumption taking hold. While a total ban seems extremely unlikely, until a cure for lung cancer is developed, cigarette smoking is moving back toward the status it had at the beginning of last century, where cigarettes were banned in some cow-and-hay-bale states.
Still, an estimated 30 percent of students at the University smoke and due consideration ought to be given to us. Given that smoking has been banned for almost nine years in University buildings and University shops are forbidden to sell tobacco products, I believe most folks are happy with the current compromise we have. Non-smokers enjoy 100 percent of indoor facilities, and smokers go outside to indulge in their habits. Seems fair enough to me, although I think indoor smoking would probably improve my GPA.
Where do we go from here? I have no idea. One would think with the defeat of Prohibition 83 years ago, folks would have given up the drive to regulate what others put in their bodies. Of course, our utter failure of a war on drugs, the waste of money that is the CCCC and every such type of nagging busybodies of their ilk and the current smoking police show this has not been the case.
To paraphrase H.L. Mencken, a nobler man than every prohibitionist put together, I have no objection to reasonable debate with reasonable people. Those who oppose smoking, or any other vice, have every right to voice these objections, by purchasing ads, establishing businesses that do not allow what they find objectionable and even damning us who engage in what they find objectionable. It is, however, when they use the law on otherwise law-abiding citizens that they become objectionable in my eyes.
I’ll be out back having a smoke. If you have asthma or something of that nature, just let me know, and I’ll kindly move along. If not, leave me alone, and I’ll do the same for you.
 
Ryan is a history senior. Contact him
at [email protected]