I’m going to tell you some secrets.I flunked out of school, worked really hard at some crappy jobs for a year, then begged my way back into LSU. Then my dad lost his job, and subsequently my parents had to leave the house where I grew up. This past spring, my grandmother was diagnosed with cancer, and by August, she was gone.That’s just the stuff I feel comfortable mentioning in a newspaper thousands of people read.Everyone deals with complicated things like that in their lives — for me, it just all kind of came at once. My problems aren’t any worse than anyone else’s, or much different, really. Neither is my coping method, for that matter.But it’s my biggest secret. I’m kind of a Twilighter.  Before you go jumping to conclusions and crying “Poseur!” or whatever you kids are saying nowadays, let me say one thing:  You and the elitist horse you rode in on can go to hell.I majored in creative writing for quite some time. I’ve read great literature, and I know good writing. I love good writing. One day, I’d like to write some good writing.I know bad writing when I see it, too — and “Twilight is bad. I detect hints of racism, and the (semi-spoiler alert!) “grown men-wolves imprinting on baby girls” thing is creepy no matter how you justify it. I don’t like the glamorization of abstinence, and I think Edward comes off as a controlling asshole. The plots are frustrating, and the dialogue is horrible and sappy.The movies aren’t much better. I loved director Catherine Hardwicke’s “Thirteen,” but “Twilight” is silly at best. The cinematography is nice, some of the casting is great (see:  Charlie, Jessica) and there is one incredibly hot kiss, but other than that, there aren’t a whole lot of nice things I can say.”New Moon” is worse. Better production values and a new director didn’t help the franchise. It’s full of pointless, weird camera angles and even more aching, meaningful gazes – not to mention more bare-chested underage boys than I am comfortable with.But none of that stopped me from seeing “New Moon” during its opening weekend, nor did it stop me from loving every silly minute of it. Nor did it keep me from buying the special edition “Twilight” DVD and watching it roughly four times a week for the first few months I had it.You might ask, “Sara, if it sucks so much, why do you keep coming back?””Well, sugar,” I would probably say, “as beautiful and transcendent as something like ‘Lolita,’ or some Raymond Carver-style dirty realism may be, it’s still kind of a buzzkill. Those aren’t audiobooks I want to listen to while I fall asleep, or movies I want to watch when my boyfriend’s not home. But ‘Twilight’ is.”I’ve got enough sadness and difficulty in my life, and there are times when I just don’t want to read or watch perfect, realistic portrayals of human suffering and existential crises.”Twilight” is just stupid, and it’s so melodramatic it somehow makes my problems seem manageable.There are times when I just can’t think about my personal problems any more, and those are the times I kick back with a hot, syrupy glass of “Twilight.”  I know it makes me all kinds of lame, and I’m OK with that. It beats the hell out of being wound up and stressed out.There’s nothing wrong with taking a couple hours to unwind and get your bearings. Some people play sports, some people smoke pot and some people go shopping.I sneak into midnight showings of “New Moon.”Sara Boyd is a 22-year-old general studies junior from Baton Rouge. Follow her on Twitter @TDR_sboyd.—-Contact Sara Boyd at [email protected]