All of the acquisitions, all of the trades and next week’s draft seem irrelevant now. NFL teams are scrambling to bolster their rosters with hopes of building a team worthy of Super Bowl glory.But why?The 2011 Super Bowl has already been decided — and in the most unlikely of places: the bathroom of the VIP lounge in the Capital City Club in Milledgeville, Ga.I know what you’re thinking. That must have been a very big bathroom for two 53-man rosters to go head to head in one of the most physical contests in all of sports.But allow me to explain. What allegedly took place in that bathroom was part of what seems to be one of the preseason rituals that helps the Pittsburgh Steelers navigate their way to the Super Bowl.That ritual is Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger being accused of some form of sexual misconduct with a woman.How can I make such a brash and borderline libelous claim? History.This offseason has had the déjà vu feel of the Steelers’ last two offseasons prior to them holding the Lombardi Trophy at season’s end.In 2008, Roethlisberger was accused of sexual assault by Andrea McNulty in Lake Tahoe, Nev. The following season the Steelers won their sixth Super Bowl in franchise history.In 2004, the organization parted ways with a currently imprisoned Plaxico Burress. The Burress-less Steelers hoisted their fifth Lombardi trophy in franchise history.     So the key to the Steelers’ success seems to be unloading flashy wide receivers and Big Ben being accused of some form of sexual misconduct.If I am correct, the Steelers have the momentum of a freight train heading into the 2010-11 season.First, Roethlisberger has been accused of sexual assault, and the police were involved this time. McNulty only filed a law suit when he was first accused in Lake Tahoe. There was an investigation by the police this time, but District Attorney Fred Bright announced on Monday that Roethlisberger would not be charged. Secondly, the Steelers traded away former Super Bowl MVP Santonio Holmes after he was accused of assaulting a woman in a night club.Both off-field incidents should bolster the championship mojo of the team. Remember, Roethlisberger was only sued after the first alleged incident.The fact the matter was thoroughly investigated by police should produce more potent results, like an MVP trophy to go along with the Super Bowl ring.Holmes distracted the team with his accusations of domestic abuse, which were even more distracting than the Burress’ expressions of unhappiness in Pittsburgh so his departure should all but lock up the those rings.With the momentum they have amassed so far, all the Steelers have to do is show up this season and wait a couple months before getting their ring fingers sized.Maybe other teams who missed the playoffs should try this out and see if it will work for them.Buffalo Bills haven’t made a playoff run in a while. Maybe Trent Edwards should follow a co-ed into the bathroom of a night club — maybe the night club at which Burress shot himself. The Bills have already cut a flashy wide receiver. Super Bowl parade in the snow sound good to anyone?Actually, just keep practicing, Trent. This is probably something that just works for the Steelers — more so Roethlisberger.The quarterback’s statistics won’t show it, but he went on to have one of his best all-around seasons after he faced those allegations the first time. He led his team and emerged victorious in one of the most competitive Super Bowls in history.In all seriousness, Roethlisberger will most likely play hard to try and get people to forget about what happened this offseason, and this spells trouble for the whole AFC, which is loaded with talent.This column is satire, by the way.Amos Morale is a 22-year-old history senior from Houston. Follow him on Twitter @TDR_amosmorale3.—–Contact Amos Morale at [email protected]