Being a Republican these days must be quite similar to being a fan of LSU football.
There’s certainly talent within the ranks. Paul Ryan, Mitt Romney and Tim Pawlenty are all stars in the political arena, much like Russell Shepard, Rueben Randle and Patrick Peterson are on the football field.
But talent isn’t enough — especially when there’s utter stupidity at the top.
And when Les Miles made a mess of the clock Saturday for the second time in as many years, I couldn’t help but think about the Republican Party and all the crap it has flung at the American public in the last decade.
The Bush administration, Michael Steele, the Patriot Act and plunging the nation into two more wars than necessary are just a few examples of the party’s recent defecations on the American public.
But when Democrats took their place atop the political porcelain throne in 2008, I expected the Republicans to get their stuff together.
Surely, they would use the Democratic can of whoop-ass of 2008 to seal up their crappy ideas once and for all.
Instead, the GOP took all the excreta of the last decade, packed it into a tight loaf and gave it a name: The “Pledge to America.”
Unveiled by congressional Republicans, including Louisiana’s own Bill Cassidy, the pledge is a 21-page legislative agenda for the next Congress, summarizing the goals of the GOP in the next few years.
If you haven’t heard of it, you’re not alone.
Only 34 percent of Americans even knew what the pledge was, according to a Washington Post-ABC News poll.
However, those who have heard of it have had no problem sniffing it out for the garbage it is.
Only 23 percent said the pledge made them more likely to vote Republican in the upcoming elections, while 29 percent said it made them less likely to vote for Republicans, according to the survey.
I’m surprised the numbers aren’t even more tilted against the pledge, because it’s nothing more than regurgitated crap.
Long anticipated by conservative pundits and supporters, the pledge was an utter letdown because it’s full of the same talking points the GOP has paraded for years.
Promises of tax cuts, medical savings accounts and cuts in spending are unchanged from those promises Bush ran on in 2000.
Really, they’re no different from the ones his father ran on, either.
Don’t believe me? Do yourself a favor and watch Jon Stewart’s take on it.
I’m not exactly on par with Stewart in terms of political thinking, but he caught the GOP with their pants down on this one, splicing quotes from this year’s pledge and placing them beside verbatim replicas from as far back as 1994.
In an election cycle with Democratic support lower than Lindsay Lohan’s credit score, Republicans have a legitimate chance to seize control of Congress and make a push for the White House in 2012.
And while there are plenty of Republicans who actually have fresh ideas, led by Ron Paul, the party refuses to part from its old ways.
The words haven’t changed in 20 years, so why should the American public expect Republican actions to change, either?
The GOP, despite the opportunity to step in and deliver a knock-out blow to President Barack Obama and the Democratic Party, has simply disgorged the force-fed cow pies of old, put a new label on it and expected the electorate to not know any better.
In doing so, they severely underestimated their conservative base. As Bush once eloquently stated: “Fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can’t get fooled again.”
The pledge isn’t fooling anyone, Republicans. It’s time to look elsewhere, because the clock is winding down.
And unlike Miles, there won’t be a last-second yellow flag to save you.
Cody Worsham is a 21-year-old mass communication senior from Baton Rouge. Follow him on Twitter @TDR_Cworsham.
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Contact Cody Worsham at [email protected]