Editor’s note: This article is a part of a head-to-head. Read the other article here. 

“Absence makes the heart grow fonder” is probably something many people tell themselves after their significant other moves away. Many people think they can make a long-distance relationship work.

Bad news: they can’t. Long-distance relationships are an unnecessary gateway to a prolonged breakup. The cons greatly outweigh the pros, and it is a waste of time. To put it bluntly, unless you are married or have kids together, you should not try to make a long-distance relationship work. The time you share with one person should help you realize whether you would follow them anywhere to stay in a relationship. Space without true commitment has no chance in making love last.

Romantic relationships are already difficult enough as is. No pair is perfect, and they are bound to run into issues. Adding distance between two people creates a sense of separation. Whether it’s the next city over or across the country, inconvenient travelling is not something everyone is willing to do. Even if you think the person you are with is always willing to do everything and anything for you, it’s not true and there will always be that sense of doubt.

There is time and effort which must be sacrificed to make a long-distance relationship successful. Also, the communication has to be present and strong for something like this to work out. With the generation we live in, most people lack these genuine qualities. Most people are too busy, unavailable and selfish to provide this kind of time.

Separation anxiety is a real thing, and everyone has experienced it in some point in their life. Trust issues are becoming more common. Why are these issues becoming apparent? It’s because we are human. We make mistakes and try to make the impossible possible. High schoolers and college kids love trying to make long distance work, yet the majority of them fail. Life often gets in the way of relationships. School work and jobs take up most of your time. You make new friends and meet new people. Suddenly, you realize you do not have as much time as you thought to put into a relationship. As time goes by, people’s preferences change and evolve. If you cannot change together, you might as well stay separate.

If two people are honestly meant to be together, the time they spend apart will not matter, and eventually they will find the way back to each other. If you really want to stay true to yourself, let your significant other leave and end the relationship. If they return, it’s possible to try the relationship again. Unless there are children or marriage involved, you should not tie someone down.

Long-distance relationships mess with your mental state after time passes. Phone calls will get shorter. Texts will get less frequent, and FaceTime will not always be available. Soon you’ll question if the person even really cares about you. He or she won’t have time to come see you because they live far away, and you’ll feel neglected. It is normal for you to feel this way, but why bring yourself through that kind of pain? It is easier to just end the relationship and keep in contact when you both have the time to spare. The saying is, “If you love something, set it free.” If your love is true, it will always find its way back.

Kiana Naquin is a 20-year-old English sophomore from Baton Rouge, Louisiana.