Columnist relates Miss Cleo scandal to LSU operations
I was heartbroken to hear that the Feds may be shutting down Miss Cleo. This cooky telephone psychic had provided me with endless laughs during commercial breaks late at night. What can I say? I dig the seductive Jamaican accent and the saucy Caribbean costumes.
If you’ve ever called for the “free” reading, you may have encountered what some 2 million other suckers dealt with. Complaints filed with the Federal Trade Commission allege that the callers were immediately directed to another number that bills them $4.99 per minute. The phone operators were instructed to keep the customer on the line for 12 to 15 minutes, rendering an average bill of more than $60 per call. In most cases, the operator spent several minutes gathering the caller’s personal information such as their name, address and birthday before even getting to the “free reading.” On the whole, it looks as if Miss Cleo has been involved in some shady dealings, and FTC is on the attack.
If the unthinkable happens and Miss Cleo’s hotline is shut down, there is still hope for her. After reading these reports about her weaseling money out of unsuspecting consumers, I’m convinced that she would fit in perfectly at one of the many student services here at LSU. Their history of screwing students out of money and sanity rivals Miss Cleo’s tactics.
Take for instance the Residential Life Department. Last year, residents at West Laville were handed a detailed list of community damages to the building. The notice claimed that the students owed $300 for an ashtray, $5,000 for missing furniture from the lobby and several $25 charges for the custodians to clean the patio along with some other outrageous fees. Imagine that. I guess residents weren’t informed that they had actually rented a room at the Hilton. Apparently the ashtray was made of fine Irish crystal. Even if the crappy furniture really costs thousands, nobody noticed that it was missing. Residents continued to enjoy the garage-sale quality sofas even while the list was circulating. Also, the last time I checked, LSU was already paying janitors to clean the dorms.
Res Life claimed each resident owed around $20 for the damages. When I left the dorm last Spring, I was later charged an additional $80 for damages that were surprisingly not documented. It’s just a little too suspicious that this brought my total fees to $100 – the exact amount they owed me for the room deposit.
I’m sure you’ve all had the pleasant experience of dealing with our privatized bookstore. If you have ever taken Biology 1001 or 1002, you probably made the mistake of buying the 30-pound book that never saw the light of day. Naturally Barnes and Noble wouldn’t buy it back because the professors were ordering a new edition. Right. I guess they just changed their mind about that new edition thing over the summer, and now we’re stuck with a thousand pages of colorful toilet paper. The same is true for the introductory Accounting book. In this case, though, students like myself had no choice but to fork out $100 for a brand new copy of the same edition used last semester. There were no used copies because the students were not able to sell them back in the fall. Still, these are just two examples of their massive textbook buyback scam. I’m sure you all have your own Barnes and Noble horror story to relate.
Fee bills are perhaps the best example of the University’s master plan to squeeze money out of students. Every semester, I am greeted with a statement of my fees and awards, and every semester the Bursar’s Office finds a way to sneak in mystery charges or accidentally leave out a scholarship or two. If I wasn’t pressed for cash like most undergraduate students, I may not have noticed that I had been screwed. By not providing a real itemized list of charges, they do a terrific job of hiding the evidence. Most people would not go through the torment of calls and transfers needed to force the University to admit their mistake. I wouldn’t be surprised if they made a hefty net gain from this routine.
So millions of Americans are out of 60 bucks – get over it. The inefficient red tape of the University coupled with the greedy hands of big business has taken much more out of our pockets. It’s as if Miss Cleo had been working behind the scene at LSU all along. Unfortunately, I don’t think the FTC will jump on this one as quickly. Perhaps our own Student Government should take a look at these scams and work to solve the problems.
Nathan Long