First Jesse Ventura, now Arnold. Who knew that the cast of the film Predator would spawn so many elected officials. Perhaps Carl “Apollo Creed” Weathers should consider a run himself.
Well, as all of humanity knows by now, with the exception of a few tribesmen in Papua New Guinea and the students at Mississippi State, Arnold Schwarzenegger was elected the 38th governor of California on Tuesday by 3,743,431 of his fellow Californians, as compared to Lieutenant Governor Cruz Bustamante’s 2,432,463 and State Senator Tom McClintock’s 1,026,492.
Wait a minute. Yep, I just wrote that Arnold Schwarzenegger is now the governor elect of the nation’s largest and most powerful state. Then again, this is California, the land of smoke-free bowling alleys and UC-Berkley, so is it really that shocking that a man whose alleged sexual dealings make Bill Clinton look like a pre-Vatican II altar boy is now chief executive?
I’m a skeptic as to the merits of modern democracy, as those who read my last column know. However, I couldn’t help but enjoy the recall. It was part carnival freak show, with your dwarves, whores, and punk band leaders, and part Greek tragedy, with outgoing governor Gray Davis falling victim to his own arrogance and vindictiveness at the hands of the Herculean Schwarzenegger. I beg your pardon, but to borrow the cliché, “Only in America.”
Was Schwarzenegger the best candidate?
In my opinion, no. Were I a Californian, a designation that for me is about as desirable as “former Iraqi Baath party chairman,” I would have voted for McClintock, as I am convinced that only he, of all the major party candidates, would have the fortitude to cut the fat of the government to the bone, while keeping taxes low.
Nonetheless, the people of California, in their great wisdom (which was reflected last when they re-elected the now deposed Gray Davis) have chosen Austria’s most successful native son since, well, you know. Let’s just hope that Gov. Schwarzenegger refrains from invading Poland.
So, what was the prize behind door number three that the new Kaiser of the Balkans by the Pacific won? He will be governor of a state where the economy is in the toilet, due to both the collapse of the Silicon Valley and the so-called “dot-com” bubble, where an energy crisis is another long hot summer away, and will be forced to deal with the problems of illegal immigration in the most racially diverse state in the country. Not exactly the most healthy of situations to be in.
Still, Schwarzenegger, when all is said and done, has been a successful businessman and actor. Perhaps he will be able to transfer the talents that have made him one of the most famous men on the planet into as good a governor. Yes, and maybe a tribe of giant reptiles with lasers are going to invade Sri Lanka.
Let’s face it, Schwarzenegger, though likable, has almost no chance of pushing through what little agenda he made up during the campaign trail.
He seems almost destined to be a one-term governor on the order of his co-star Jesse Ventura, who actually had a small amount of political experience as mayor of a suburb of St. Paul.
This isn’t to say that I dislike California’s new Fuehrer. On the contrary, I think he’s a vast improvement over the bloodless Davis.
I just don’t believe he has the force behind him (his opponents will rightly view him as a man who won the novelty vote, which most likely counted for the margin between Bustamante and himself) to get enough done to save California from turning into the first American state to enter the third world.
Still, the show goes on, and California has given every journalist at least a another two years of fun.
For California’s sake, as well as the nation’s, let’s hope Arnold’s ready to start doing some heavy lifting.