Why do so many of us around the University try to torture ourselves into what we think are sexy, hard bodies?
Yes-I’ll admit I am one of those guys huffing and puffing for my next breath as you pass me on the path around the Campus Lakes.
We all say we do it because either we feel like it makes us healthier or to work off our recently acquired college bellies. [Curse that wicked, freshman meal plan!]
I mean, I enjoy the beauty the lakes bring to my experience here, but I’ve often pondered whether the view of the lakes is equally beautiful from an air-conditioned vehicle as it is through my sweat-covered sunglasses.
The president of Fat and Happy Americans once said, “The amount of time we spend working out, trying to lengthen our lives, is actually lost.”
How could this be, you might ask?
Say you want to add five years to your life. The amount of time it would take to do that through exercise would actually be five years, according to the Fat and Happy folks.
If we’re not doing it for our health, it must be for social reasons.
I’ve heard a lot of people say they meet potential dates at the Rec Center or running around the lakes.
I’ve given it a shot.
Once I was running around the lakes during the late afternoon when a black Suburban with tinted windows pulled up beside me. I stopped, thinking it might have been someone I knew.
Imagine my gleeful surprise when the windows came down and revealed a car full of smiling sorority girls!
As I started to speak, something more than just pearly whites started showing.
That’s right, those girls flashed their … Super Soakers right at me!
They let me have it with those water guns and then sped away.
I tried to turn on my own speed as I hollered for them to give me their phone numbers, but my horsepower just wasn’t kicking very hard.
They didn’t turn around.
My next sign of hope came on an early morning trip around the lakes.
I had nearly finished my four-mile trek when I noticed a beautiful brunette power-walking in my direction.
She was staring right at me and mouthing something.
The same excitement I had felt during my encounter with the Greek girls started building up inside me as I approached my finish line.
We would both meet there at the same time!
I slowed my run as I neared her and put on my sliest, sexiest smile.
Then I noticed she was wearing head phones and just singing along with the lyrics. She gave me a snooty smirk as I walked closer to her.
Her power walk turned to a brisk run as she passed me. My smile quickly faded.
Hey, brunette bombshell! Sorry to disturb your dumb Britney Spears listening party.
Happy hunting around the lakes to you, too! I hope you meet a really swell duck or turtle on your next lap.
Don’t take Adam too seriously and contact him at [email protected]