Isn’t it just the worst to walk around on Valentine’s Day with your favorite theme sweater just to see everyone holding hands with the ones they love and like, a million proposals?
Well, that’s okay, and not just because my therapist said so. It’s time the singles take back Valentine’s Day!
Here I give you every single twenty-something’s favorite reading material: the listicle!
So this Saturday, gather up your best friends and treat yourself with these tips.
1.Get together and make pancakes!
Tuck those Lean Cuisines away and have yourself a pancake party. Bake them with some red and pink food coloring to give it that fun, funky flare!
Compare your pancakes with your friends’ and slowly develop feelings for your creations to fill that gaping void in your life!
2.Watch Disney movies!
Grab yourself a bowl of popcorn and think about how he wasn’t anything like Prince What’s-His-Face.
3.Do homework!
You’re so smart you do homework on Saturdays. Look at you go!
4.Have karaoke night!
Why complain at home when you can sing in public? Call out for “Man! I Feel Like a Woman!” and think about how much better you probably sing than his new girl. Whatever, her face is weird.
5.Get yourself something nice!
He never got you flowers. But you’re strong and amazing and beautiful and can get your own damn flowers!
6.Learn a language!
¿Come se dice I totally didn’t even love you in the first place?
7.Discuss how little you need him!
It was definitely for the best. I mean, sure, I miss him, but whatever…
8.Judge!
Facebook stalk his new lady until you reach 2007! It’s an adrenaline rush when you almost accidentally like a picture. Whew, that was a close one!
9.Cry!
10. You know what, can I just… ask something?
11. Was it something I did? I mean really, what the hell?
12. I gave you everything, everything!
13. You couldn’t even do this in person. Seriously, a phone call? I thought you were ABOVE that.
14. I trusted you. You’re all the same. You really are. I’m so, so stupid for thinking otherwise. Ugh.
15. I’m so over this. Done. I’m done.
16. Try out a new hairdo!