1. To fail is human; to win, divine.
2. The difference between paying for a Blimpie sub at the Student Union with a meal transfer and being forced to pay with other means is bacon and heat.
3. I need to take typing classes. Some people talk way too fast for me to get it all in my blog.
4. A pancake made out of biscuit batter lying in a shelf for a week never is, was or will be a pancake.
5. “If you had food and could give it only to a starving dog or a homeless person, which would you choose?” This question has the power to start a 2 1/2-hour long debate, which ends by giving reasons why it’s better to eat a dog with another human being when stranded in a rowboat.
6. Something doesn’t sit right about the Nintendo Wii. It’s too addictive, and I think it’s trying to kill us all.
7. Bacon and eggs can make any situation better.
8. Beware any room where everyone is sitting in a circle looking at each other but not talking.
9. Ryan Perrilloux really was the University’s Britney Spears. We could’ve had something good together, Ryan. Oh well.
10. “Ready or Not” by The Fugees should be the new Alma Mater. If that song blasted across campus from the Memorial Tower at noon, everyone would have a better day and be in the mood to get things done.
11. If you scream “L-S-U!” in the middle of the Quad at the end of the Alma Mater, you look really stupid.
12. The Rev. Jeremiah Wright Jr., could’ve been the next Martin Luther King Jr., but I still wonder how King would’ve fared against today’s punditry. What would King have given as advice to Alan Colmes? Would he have to keep chanting “non-violent” while on Bill O’Reilly? What would he make of John Roberts’ magic touch screen board?
13. Ballin’ is a habit.
14. High-definition television is both a gift and a curse. It can be brilliant, especially for sporting events and old movies, but it makes Alex Trebek even more pretentious.
15. Bikes will never be prohibited from the Quad. I have a bicycle, and literally nothing will stop me from riding through the Quad. It’s a question of personal responsibility, making common ground attainable if people can talk about it. Additional bike racks were put on the sides of Middleton Library, but people will still park on trees, posts, rails and anything else their locks fit.
16. Facility Services has a metal detector. I recently lost my high school ring in some bushes while throwing a frisbee. After an hour of searching, it was nowhere to be found. I’ve accepted this as a sign to let go.
17. Michael Sandel, George Orwell, Plato and Aristotle can change someone’s life.
18. Fox News will always be on in the Health Center. I’ll let that go.
19. The devil is here on Earth. Her name is Miley Cyrus.
20. SG push cards are just as flammable as any other paper.
21. Apparently, it’s worse to be considered “elitist” than to be “unelectable.”
22. Car washes are elitist.
23. The Boondocks was secretly modeled after my life. It’s also the best show on television. Riley and Huey Freeman could have just as easily been my younger brother Andrew and me, respectively.
24. If I bought a bag of oranges and put them in my refrigerator, there is a 70/30 chance I’ll leave them in there for four months.
25. Pointing out the ignorance of what happens at sorority functions is a one-way ticket to being called “the biggest racist on campus” and to be told to “go back to Congo” – even if you’ve never been there.
26. The New Orleans Hornets are going to the NBA Finals this year. It’s going to happen.
27. The Chicago Cubs are going to win the World Series this year. Yes, it’s going to happen.
28. Random sports predictions don’t necessarily make the best of columns.
29. People should be focusing on making each other’s lives better. It’s not enough to say “care for your fellow man.” You must actually reach out. I’ve been critical in the past of many things – some without proper justification. But humility is a virtue. People make mistakes, and more often than not, silence is golden.
30. The Daily Reveille has been a large part of my life this year, and I can’t stress enough what a privilege it has been and is to be a columnist. To all those leaving the University this year, good luck in whatever you do because we’re all in it together.
Many happy wishes, and enjoy the summer.
—-Contact Eric Freeman at [email protected].