You spent yesterday adding overpriced restaurant meals and chocolate to your credit card, and now you’re staying up late counting down the days until tax returns are mailed instead of counting sheep. You’re so tired you forget about Webassign deadlines, and your grades begin to suffer.

To those of you who are fortunate to receive full funding for your four-or-more years here, whether it be through scholarships, financial aid or parents who would rather you learn the value of money when you actually have some — this seems like an extreme situation. But for the students at N.C. State who are in the same boat as me, listen up.

Thank you University Payroll, for limiting any employee who is a full-time student to a maximum of 20 hours a week. I know you’re just trying to help us so we’ll do better in our academics, but when a month’s rent, utilities, and food is upwards of $700, 20 hours just doesn’t cut it.

Thus, I began my search for other sources of income.

A few of my friends suggested donating plasma. With the clinic conveniently located across from the Bell Tower and $35 cash for the first visit, it seemed like a great idea. I quickly ditched this after learning the weight requirement is at least 150 pounds. Also the idea of sitting still for two hours with giant needles in my arms didn’t seem too appealing.

Along the same route, I considered egg donation. According to the fliers plastered across campus, the compensation was up to $2,000. Reading into this, even if I met the entire list of strict qualifications, I decided that this would be both extremely painful and really weird knowing that there’s some random kid out there with my DNA.

So, I decided to ask around about jobs that didn’t involve donating parts of my body. Bobby Jones, a freshman in electrical engineering, picked up a modeling gig downtown at a place called Artspace. He said the job isn’t a huge time commitment, but I don’t think I possess the attention span to sit or stand while someone turns me into a 2-d figure.

Probably the best job opportunity I’ve come across is 1800junkusa.com. The company is actually called “College Hunks Hauling Junk”, and they’re searching for strong, good-looking, and articulate college men that want to earn money for being housewives’ eye candy while removing unwanted furniture, appliances and other “junk” from houses.

I finally found a job in the classifieds transcribing interviews for a graduate student in psychology. My OCD of sending instant messages using proper punctuation wasn’t so pointless after all.

If none of the ideas I’ve thrown out are appealing/applicable to you, don’t feel too discouraged yet. There’s always selling your soul, or, if you have a strong stomach, you could take the tequila-scented trash filled with your roommate’s puke out for two dollars. But America is the land of opportunity, right?

E-mail Jessie your thoughts at viewpoint@technicianonline.com