In a historic move that made millions of elementary school science projects obsolete overnight, Pluto, the ninth planet in our solar system, was downgraded Friday from planet status. So what happens to all of those cheap models made from Styrofoam balls and coat hangers? Does the third grade issue a massive recall on them like Ford and General Motors? Or is there a tremendous landfill somewhere filled with clay volcanos that spew baking soda and vinegar and 2-liter Coke bottles taped together to form tornados? Is it eagerly awaiting these obsolete relics? For nearly our entire scholastic lives, we’ve been taught there are nine planets in the solar system. Our teachers even came up with those weird acronyms to remember them in order of distance from the sun. Remember this one: My Very Educated Mother Just Sent Us Nine Pizzas? All nine planets are right there. It was so simple to remember. Now those days are gone. No more Pluto. No more Pizzas. Flags should be at half mast. Churches and schools should be closed. All hail the fallen ninth Wonder of the Worlds. Why am I going on about Pluto? After all it is a cold, small planet (excuse me, dwarf planet) only 1/500th the size of the Earth. It takes 249 years to travel around the sun just once. If the solar system is a class picture, then Pluto is the short, smelly kid in the back. But for you freshmen out there, the whole Pluto debate is synonymous with what college is about. It’s finding out the things you’ve taken for granted are no longer guaranteed. It’s seeing something in a different light, whether that something is a planet billions of years old or someone whom you’ve just met. It’s about finding opinions and ideas opposite from those you’ve followed your entire life and embracing and incorporating them. It’s about seeking out the minority opinion-not in rebellion but to better understand your surroundings. There will be good times and bad times. There will be times when you feel on top of the world and times when you’ll feel incredibly stupid. There’s a reason why “Animal House” is still considered “The College Movie.” In short, it’s life – as real and raw as it gets. And after four years you’ll either wonder where it all went or just be happy to escape. College is entering as one person and leaving as another. It’s coming in as a planet and leaving with a universe.
—–Contact Elliot Brown at [email protected]