Laughter is the best medicine – unless you are San Antonio Spurs forward Tim Duncan.
Duncan received two technical fouls during Sunday’s game against the Dallas Mavericks. Though he continues to maintain his innocence, allow me to shed some light on the subject and say what Duncan may not have said.
Move over David Letterman. It’s time for The Daily Reveille’s Top 10 Reasons Why Tim Duncan was Laughing.
No. 10: He was told he was the heir to the Dunkin’ Donuts franchise – only to have his dreams crushed after his agent informed him of the difference in spelling.
No. 9: He contemplated joining recently-suspended Tennessee Titans cornerback Adam “Pacman” Jones at a strip club after the game to work on his “bad boy” image.
No. 8: He heard Dallas Mavericks forward Dirk Nowitzki talking and thought he sounded like Soviet boxer Dolph Lundgren from the movie Rocky IV.
No. 7: He realized he could receive a multi-million dollar endorsement deal from Crest White Strips by giving his pearly whites a little TV face time.
No. 6: He was mocking rapper 50 Cent’s newest song by singing, “I’m laughing straight to the bank with this ha ha ha ha ha … ha ha … ha ha ha ha.”
No. 5: His teammate Tony Parker may know, but we’ll never know what was going on under that towel.
No. 4: He knew he could pay his fine with the help of former LSU running back and 1958 Heisman Trophy winner Billy Cannon’s counterfeited $100 bills.
No. 3: He thought he saw a monkey jumping around in the stands, only to be disappointed when he realized it was Dallas Maverick’s owner Mark Cuban.
No. 2: He looked down the bench and thought teammate Melvin Ely looked like a nappy-headed garden tool.
No. 1: He couldn’t help but think referee Joey Crawford was Mr. Clean.