Editor’s note: This column contains language some may find offensive.
Oh reality TV, you’ve done it again. You’ve gotten everything right, and have once again displayed “reality” with the new series “Big Easy Brides” on the WE television channel.
This new reality achievement presents New Orleans in such a beautiful light.
The first episode introduced the Rev. Tony Talavera and the wedding staff at the French Quarter Wedding Chapel on Burgundy Street in New Orleans.
The episode displayed several New Orleans couples in the throes of love.
The first wedding was held for Veronica and Luke, a nice young couple. Everything went well until Luke’s mommy showed up screaming, “She’s yo cousin!” Yes, apparently Luke was marrying his second cousin.
But the wedding went ahead as planned.
The next wedding was between Damion and Beba, a “hot couple” as the wedding staff refers to them. They had a New Orleans-style pub-crawl wedding. By the end of the night, Beba was so drunk she puked on a gay man’s shoes, causing Damion to fight the man.
“I love New Orleans!” Beba screamed as they exchange vows.
“I’m fucked up,” Damion replied.
The featured wedding of the episode followed Bobby and Selena, two trailer-park lovers who wanted their wedding in a trailer park and their wedding cake to be modeled after breasts.
All goes well until the landlord shows up, asking that no alcohol be present at the wedding. Everyone goes to the bar, and the bride cries.
Since I thought the first episode was pretty realistic, I watched the second.
It starts with Richard and Karen’s 3 a.m. toga-themed wedding, which ended with the groomsmen streaking down the street on a drunken impulse.
Next, the show introduced muscle-couple Tim and Brandy, who had a body building wedding. As they exchanged vows, we found out Brandy used to date her maid of honor, who’s still in love with her. The wedding ends with Tim bench-pressing his new wife.
Also during this episode, the wedding staff passed out flyers persuading people to get married around the French Quarter. They lured two couples.
The second episode of television’s greatest show focused on Chastity and Nick. Get this: Nick has a child with Chastity’s maid of honor. Apparently this isn’t much of an issue. On their wedding day, it becomes clear that Nick’s quite the infidel. His other girlfriend Jaelynn arrives questioning Chastity and said, “How you gonna marry him when he sleepin’ wit me?”
Needless to say, they don’t get married, and the episode ends with Chastity pushing Nick in