National signing day — the day a group of wide-eyed high school seniors make decisions on their academic future.
National signing day — an excuse for four thousand fans to get drunk, talk football until their heads explode and generally act like the players’ dads on Varsity Blues.
It’s the Bayou Bash, LSU’s annual football recruiting party held at Argosy Casino. And since the majority of students were stuck on campus for much of the event, here is what went down.
The doors to the Argosy atrium open at 7:30 a.m. Inside there’s a stage with a giant movie screen and a couple thousand chairs set up. Coffee, donuts and Bloody Marys are passed around. The talk centers mainly on all-everything quarterback Ryan Perrilloux and if he’s going to sign. Everyone’s competing for the coveted “who heard best rumor” award.
 
8:42 a.m.
The first signee of the day, Lyle Hitt from Parkview Baptist High School in Baton Rouge is announced to scattered applause. Meanwhile they’re showing the 2004 LSU highlight video mixed with clips from Rocky 3. Unfortunately they forget to include the scene where Rocky and Apollo race on the beach and wind up hugging each other in the surf.
 
8:59 a.m.
R.J. Jackson’s signing is announced. On the highlight tape we’ve switched from Rocky to clips from Troy and The Last Samurai, although most of the footage from this year’s Georgia game is curiously MIA.
 
9:34 a.m.
Defensive end Al Jones commits as they switch from the highlight tape to a replay of the Oregon State game. Apparently they ran out of action movies.
I just realized this whole event, devoted entirely to where high school kids will attend college, is being sponsored by Budweiser and held in a casino. Is this even legal?
 
10:14 a.m.
Antonio Robinson, from Winnfield High, is next on the board. The Budweiser guys arrive and begin setting up in the rear of the hall. Fans are circling like vultures over a highway.
 
10:32 a.m.
Ciron Black from Tyler, Tx. is announced. A quick picture of Perrilloux holding an LSU hat is flashed across the main screen and then is switched off in less than two seconds. A buzz goes through the crowd. Just say it already.
 
10:47 a.m.
Darry Beckwith commits.
11:02 a.m.
Chris Hawkins commits.
11:28 a.m.
Kyle Anderson commits. They’re doing this on purpose.
 
11:34 a.m.
“The next signee is . . . Ryan Perrilloux!” Applause! Yes! Geaux Tigers! Yo Adrian! Cubs win, Cubs win! (It’s a little crazy in here right now).
 
12:17 p.m.
While off on a break for lunch Steven Korte, Trindon Holliday, and Brandon LaFell all were signed. The Florida game is on right now and everyone is kicking back. With Perrilloux a done deal the atmosphere has cooled considerably. The free booze probably had something to do with that as well. The record for most beers taken from the stand successfully by one person is currently five, but it’s still early.
They’ve also got a silent auction going on here for LSU memorabilia. Everything from Skip Bertman autographed baseballs to a neon LSU beer sign signed by Les Miles is up for grabs. But the best item by far was the leather recliner with built-in cup holders from the John Elway collection. The John Elway collection? From Super Bowl champion to interior decorator. Even Roger Dorn didn’t fall this far.
By the way, whoever planned this event came up about 500 chairs short for everyone here. Competition is stiff. In between ogling the Hooters girls circulating through the atrium, the 95 percent male crowd is scouring the aisles for a seat.
 
1:37 p.m.
Harry Coleman and Max Holmes have signed, the final two recruits. Next, they show the highlight tape from each of the recruits to an enthusiastic crowd. Trindon Holliday’s was the most impressive, eliciting a fair share of “Who is this guy?” comments. Lyle Hitt’s was also pretty good and a Steven Korte stiff arm got the biggest “Ooh” from the crowd.
 
5:00 p.m.
The band comes in and athletics director Skip Bertman takes the stage. Here’s his first 26 words:
“What do you think they’re doing in Starkville right now? How do you get a Mississippi State graduate off your porch? Pay them for the pizza.”
Skip brings on Les Miles who starts off by introducing his family and then all of his assistants and their families. Good move by the new coach, applauded by everyone.
Miles then begins talking about his vision for the program and breaks down each of the recruits getting more applause breaks than George W. Bush at the Republican National Convention.
Miles then takes a few questions from the floor. One fan asks him how he spells “Go.”
“G-E-A-U-X. Geaux Tigers,” Miles responded and then exited to another round of applause.
Amen coach. And after more than 10 hours at the Bayou Bash, Rocky, Perrilloux, Hooters and Skip, it was indeed time to geaux.