One of my co-workers told me last week he’s “straight-edge.”
I’ve heard this term before, but I’ve only associated it with people who don’t drink, do drugs or smoke cigarettes. However, he told me the even darker side of it.
For him, straight-edge means he doesn’t do anything with women except hug and kiss them. That’s right, no petting, no oral sex or intercourse. If that’s not enough, he doesn’t even masturbate – all of this plus the no drinking or drugs.
Like most of you, all I had to say was, “Why?”
According to him, it’s his religious beliefs that keep him straight-edge. He does not believe someone should experience any kind of sexual pleasure without being married. Orgasms, he said, should only occur between and man and a woman who are married and having sexual intercourse.
I have to respect his religious beliefs, and I’m surprised he’s promised his faith that he’ll follow such a strict regimen.
However, I really have to question, what’s it all worth?
I think abstinence is great. For some, waiting to have sex until marriage means avoiding intercourse, and to others it may mean no oral sex, or not even touching anything below the belt.
But you know what they say, don’t make promises you can’t keep. To be honest, I find it hard to believe that a young adult male can keep a promise to never masturbate.
For most people, masturbating is a private fact of life. It’s not a conversational matter, but we’re aware that it happens. For some, it’s not about sexual pleasure, but a mere tension relief, especially for men.
I’m led to wonder if my co-worker has ever really been put to the test. He’s not really social, and he’s never had a girlfriend.
Currently, he’s been seeking out one of our other co-workers. She’s nice, pretty and outgoing. However, she’s an Atheist and gave up her virginity years ago. Still, he’s totally smitten by her.
Picture it: they go on a date, she kisses him goodnight, one thing leads to another and the next thing you know she’s crawling down his pants. Is he really going to tell her to stop because he’s feeling too much pleasure and it’s sinful?
Now, I can’t assume he’d sway this easily. But I feel like he made a promise without really thinking it over.
In reality, she isn’t going to be satisfied with just a kiss good night after every date, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
He’s really going to have to find someone who feels and believes the same things he does when it comes to sex and marriage. It takes two people to work through something that demanding.
I’m not saying we’re all creatures of sex, but we’re still only human.
Holly kisses on the first date. Contact her at hphillips@lsureveille.com