Isn’t it just like a heated game of Trivial Pursuit on a Saturday night to end a relationship?
I mean seriously, you kept getting the easy ones. “What wrestler supplied the torso for Scorpion King in The Mummy Returns?”
And I get, “What modern nation is home to Caral, discovered in 2001 and believed to be the oldest city in the Americas?”
Plus, you always landed on roll again. How does that happen?
You know, the game isn’t all skill. There are dice involved.
And I was under the impression it was a friendly game, so on the question, “What Oregonian, according to New York magazine, ‘transformed the formerly upmarket Olympics into a vast trashscape’ in the 1990s?,” I emphasized “trash” so you could come to the obvious conclusion the correct answer was Tonya Harding.
But did you extend the same courtesy?
No. You read the questions in a soft monotone and whistled the Jeopardy song.
Ok, so maybe throwing your pie out of the window was uncalled for, but in the sports arena it’s not uncommon for athletes to lose their cool.
And don’t act like your adrenaline wasn’t pumping just a little bit, because when I tied us up at four pie pieces a piece with a brilliant “Emily Dickinson” for the brown piece, you threw your cell phone against the wall.
I swear to God, you sit at home and read all of the questions. You don’t even know who Sandy Hill Pittman is!
I’m glad I stabbed you with my fork – you deserved it. You know you tried to hit the orange square when you rolled a four, but you where five steps away. Come on, I stabbed you on the top of your hand – it couldn’t have hurt that much.
Oh, and you didn’t think I knew the pink questions, so that’s what you gave me for the win, but I tricked you.
I got all the pinks wrong, so you’d give me one at the end of the game.
“What ‘Iron Chef’ kingpin begins each episode with the words: ‘If memory serves me-‘?”
Chairman Kaga, Bee-atch!
Oh, I’m the Trivial Pursuit king – what, what!
You’re such a sore loser too. You didn’t have to pee on my floor. That was gross.
Anywho, I really don’t think we should we’d have broken up over it.
I mean, it is just a game – a game you really suck at! Ohhhhhhh!
Jay has passed Go and collected $200. Contact him at [email protected]