True to the American spirit, “Friends” beat war coverage in ratings Thursday night. In the United States, revelry is common in times of duress. Last Thursday, the block party in the dormitory horseshoe hosted many residents fond of dancing. Residents danced to Outkast’s “Bombs Over Baghdad” as missiles pummeled Iraq’s capital. The irony was unbearable to some, delicious to others.
Yet escapism through entertainment is part of our culture, and sometimes we desire escape from normal entertainment itself. It is in this line of thought which brought about the creation of the Razzies, a spoof of the Academy Awards that doles out accolades to the year’s worst films. And this past year held a particularly high yield of bad movies.
According to CNN, “Swept Away,” Guy Ritchie’s beach-based romance starring wife Madonna, destroyed this year’s competition, carting home five awards, including “Worst Remake of Sequel,” Ritchie as “Worst Director,” and Madonna as “Worst Actress” (she tied with Britney Spears’ performance in “Crossroads”).
Founded by film malcontent John Wilson, the Razzies have awarded films for the past 23 years. Wilson and his establishment seem to have a vendetta against Madonna, giving her the “Worst Actress of the Century” award three years ago. This year Madonna also received an award for “Worst Supporting Actress” for her brief cameo in the latest James Bond movie “Die Another Day.” Of Madonna’s brief appearance in the Bond flick, Wilson told CNN “she’s not even in the movie for two minutes, but she’s so awful in that one scene, that for the whole rest of the movie, you cannot forget that your eyes and ears have been assaulted with the stupidity of her appearance.”
Ouch. At least Wilson has an eye for bad taste, for the “winners” were chosen correctly. I have seen “Swept Away,” and O! It is so bad! But it isn’t the only bad movie this year. There are some movies the public needs to be warned about, and seeing that the Razzies enjoy pummeling Madonna and Madonna alone, a list of truly wretched films to be avoided would be a service to the public. In this regard, I am now a public servant.
“Jason X” — This just might be the worst movie of all time. You think 10 bad movies in a row would say something to anyone with taste, but this is not the case. If, as the movie shows, the human race can cryogenically freeze only two human beings and one of them happens to be Jason Vorhees, then that race deserves to die out.
“Dreamcatcher” — It’s bad. See today’s review in Revelry.
“Full Frontal” — What was Steven Soderbergh thinking? Filmed with the Canon XL-1 digital camcorder and utilizing only natural light, “Full Frontal” tries to be an interesting art film but turns out to be a blurry mess. It is an ugly, boring collection of digital dots, and the screenplay tries too hard to be smart. It fails miserably.
“Reign of Fire” — Set in 2020, the movie chronicles the human race’s fight against fire-breathing dragons. That’s right. Fire-breathing dragons. Van Zan the Dragon Slayer is world’s last hope, and we, as an audience, realize the world may as well be hopeless.
“Scooby Doo” — There are many films made for children that can entertain adults as well, and this is a film that can entertain neither. Not even the hokey references to Shaggy and Scooby smoking dope can save it.
The Razzies are a good indicator of the bad films out there. Perhaps few pay attention to them. Perhaps they were made for film dorks to laugh about and columnists to write about. Regardless of their purpose, bad movies always will find success, and the Razzies will always find recipients for its awards. Take their advice, and perhaps we can change that.