Welcome back to the final grind of the semester.
Just a quick question, before we begin.
Did anyone else find it amusing that the day of Christ’s resurrection celebration happened to be on 4-20 this year?
Just checking.
So yeah, Easter was last Sunday.
It’s a big deal for my family.
We douche a bajillion boiled eggs in the colored vinegar and water solution.
Dying the “poop egg” is an Easter tradition for my brothers.
I never really understood how they could make an egg puce, but each year one creeps into the basket.
After dying the eggs, we eat them. All of them.
We eat them in sandwiches, on toast, in potato salad, plain, dressed and every other possible way to eat boiled eggs.
We eat so many of them that none of us can look at a boiled egg again until next Easter.
When my brothers and I were younger, we played traditional Easter egg hide-and-seek at my grandparents’ house before we started eating them.
We were the egg hiding champions of Central Alabama.
Each year we managed to hide at least two or three that were not found until our grandfather ran over them with the lawnmower a few weeks later.
Easter is still Papa’s favorite holiday.
We get the chocolate-filled baskets on Sunday morning too.
My family is all chocolate.
We don’t give a crap about the marshmallow birds and bunnies or the freaking jellybeans.
We want the SOLID bunny, the Cadbury eggs, the M&Ms and, my personal favorite, the chocolate-covered malted milk ball egg-shaped thingys.
Peeps are for wussies.
After our early-morning chocolate worship service, one never knows which pews my family will end up in on Easter.
My daddy is a trombonist, and he always plays an Easter gig.
We used to go to whatever church service he had to play, but this year my brothers played a gig too.
Mama felt festive and went to my brothers’ gig and to my parents’ regular church service.
My dad played out of town for two services.
And, the very devout Cuffist worshipped at Our Lady of the Holy Mattress.
But when I woke up (at noonish), I leapt out of bed and ran through the house in my pajamas screaming “CHRIST IS RISEN!”
(I don’t think my mom’s church buddy truly appreciated my religious fervor, but my brothers certainly did.)
Happy Jesus resurrection, Christians. And for you non-Christians, happy close-out candy buying.