The end is near for this Cuffist, but let’s not discuss it today.
More important games are afoot. I received a letter I’d like to share.
Dear Cuff:
The Reveille is going to hell in a handbasket.
What the hell were they thinking to publish a story about race issues?!?
LSU doesn’t have race issues.
I mean, every white person here “has a black friend” or “isn’t racist but …”
I’ve also noticed a lot of news about gay people, international students, people with disabilities, old people and people of different religions.”
I thought that everyone is white and straight and young and Christian here.
Where the hell is George Wallace when you need him in the schoolhouse door?
If you ask me, the real problem with The Reveille is that women outnumber men on the staff.
And those women just don’t know their places.
Frankly, I think they should be cooking some nice, rich, alcoholic businessmen (who beat them) some dinner instead of writing stories and columns, taking photographs, designing, editing or managing.
If this newspaper doesn’t start publishing nice, happy news about bunnies, prostate cancer, the new manifest destiny, our fine president, hot dogs, other phallic foods, financial matters, family values and how the South will rise again, I’m gonna get a gunrack in my Ford and head for the freaking hills with my purple and gold confederate flag flying.
Until then, I’ll start wearing my bedsheets and pointy hat to the bars.
I know it doesn’t allow all-white shoes, but the code doesn’t mention all-white sheets.
Things like racism, sexism, heterosexism, homophobia, ablism and ageism don’t ever change, so we just should accept them.
We should hate and discriminate because that’s just the way things are.
Let’s not forget that whomever wants to discriminate or hate people because they are different has that right.
Ever hear of the First Amendment?
And, anyone who is being discriminated against should shut up and go somewhere else or just conform.
Finally, WHY IS EVERYTHING A RACE ISSUE?
Sincerely,
John Q. Mullet
Dear Mullet:
You are an idiot.
Hugs and Kisses,
Cuff