Dating relationships can have positive aspects, such as feelings of being in love and the excitement of getting to know one another, but some relationships take a negative turn with qualities that sometimes are overlooked.
College-age students are not excluded from domestic violence. Physical and mental abuse is present in some relationships, marital or not, said Kim Munroe, a Student Health Center coordinator.
“It’s more common than people realize,” Munroe said. “It’s really been silenced, and not a lot of students talk about it or know what to do.”
She said her experience with the Office for Sexual Health and Violence Prevention at the University of South Carolina raised her awareness of the amount of college students in abusive relationships.
Munroe will speak at a brown bag luncheon in the Women’s Center to discuss this topic further and provide ways people can help themselves or friends who may be in abusive relationships.
Amber Vlasnik, Women’s Center director, said the center wanted to have the forum to open dialogue with students.
“It’s an issue women are talking about, and I’ve heard people talk about it here at the center” Vlasnik said. “There are incidences of dating abuse on campuses, and [the center] wouldn’t expect LSU to be any different from the national average of incidents.”
According to statistics from the U.S. Department of Justice, the National Crime Victimization Survey reported 691,710 non-fatal violent victimizations were committed by a girlfriend or boyfriend in 2001. The report also found that 85 percent, or about 588,490, of victimizations by intimate partners in 2001 were against women.
Their statistics do show a decline in the rate of intimate violence against females between 1993 and 2001, dropping by nearly half to 43 percent.
Although LSU does not have a specific office or policy dedicated to dating violence, Munroe said the campus offers support and assistance through the Sexual Assault Victim’s Advocates at LSU.
“People can go to the Battered Women’s Shelter in Baton Rouge, or they can come to us on campus because in a lot of abusive relationships there is sexual assault, so it overlaps,” she said. “There are other ways the University can assist students, such as if they’re missing classes or need to temporarily relocate because their living environment is unsafe.”
Munroe said it is critical that someone in an abusive relationship have a plan on how to leave because leaving a situation is when the person could be at most danger.
She said there are many reasons why someone might stay in an abusive relationship, such as fear of endangerment to themselves or loved ones and an emotional manipulation when the abusive partner shows good sides to themselves. The positive change in attitude and actions can give the abused partner hope that their partner will change and the abuse will stop, Munroe said.
“Most people want the abuse to stop, not the relationship,” she said. “People become so invested in a relationship and don’t want that to end.”
Munroe said one way an abusive partner can show a different and more positive face to their significant other is by offering to go to couple counseling, but this is one of the worst things a couple can do.
“Couples in an abusive relationship should not go to couples counseling because someone might share information with the counselor that the abuser might not be comfortable with and they may retaliate later on,” Munroe said. “Individual counseling is strongly suggested, but they should never go together.”
She said warning signs do exist in early stages of a relationship that can be red flags to someone that abuse could occur down the road.
“New couples are still in the honeymoon phase, and they’re so absorbed in the newness of everything that they spend less time with friends or family,” Munroe said. “In a healthy relationship, they will realize this and start to integrate those relationships back into their lives. But sometimes during the integration period, one partner may get jealous and try to erode the other person’s self esteem.”
She said abusive relationships can happen in both heterosexual and homosexual relationships, and the abuser is not always the male. Anyone in an abusive relationship can contact the Student Health Center, University Sexual Assault Victim’s Advocates or area shelters and help-lines for assistance.