When I departed Baton Rouge last Thursday for a long car ride to cover the LSU-Arizona football game, I had the slightest inkling of the life changing events that would occur while I was gone. Nor was I at all prepared for the impact these events would have on my world when I returned.
I chose to write this because it is the only thing on my mind and I know I am not the only one who has a dealt with such a horrifying surprise.
According to the Center for Disease Control and prevention, suicide takes the lives of more Americans each year than homicide and is the third leading cause of death for young people aged 15-24.
Sleep deprived and near the end of the 20 hour road trip home, I received the fateful call. Rumors were circulating through email and phone that one of my newest yet closest friends had taken her own life. Desperately hoping that it was some sort of sick joke, numerous concerned friends called me and asked if I had any information.
I knew nothing and hurriedly called anyone who I could possibly think of that may know anything. I finally found an answer and it was not the one I was wanting. It was true, as her obituary was located online.
Suddenly, things that were very important to me just 15 minutes earlier seemed trivial. No longer was I concerned with school, having fun or even LSU football. The fragility of life was and still is all too real.
Suicide was always a foreign thought to me. I never dreamed someone I knew would take this drastic desperate action, much less someone I was so close to and respected so much.
I had only known her a little over a year, and really just became close to her during the summer when the both of us took part in a French immersion program at the University of Saint-Anne’s in Nova Scotia, Canada. I just knew the memories and friendships created during those five weeks would certainly last me a lifetime.
A special relationship had developed between us since we were the sole people either one of us knew prior to the program. The small size and close living situation offered created an environment where friendships flourished. Both of us made many good friends from all over North America , but knowing that this friend would still be close when we returned home offered a hope for an even greater friendship in the future.
This wretched situation I now find myself in offers many difficult obstacles to be overcome, but one of the greatest is attempting to make sense of her tragic death. So many questions still exist and confusion abounds.
What would drive this wonderful girl to such hopelessness where she felt her only way out was take her own life? Everyone that met her was taken aback by not only her beautiful outer appearance, but by how she truly was beautiful on the inside.
I had never met anyone who possessed such a love for life and people. Her presence made even mundane events a great time. She also loved to play jokes on people and played pranks.
But she also was highly motivated. This can easily be seen in her academic life. Even in high school, she was the co-valedictorian. Since being at LSU, she excelled in class and even took her enjoyment of writing to the next level as she spent a semester as a special section writer for the Reveille.
The love of her culture brought her to St. Anne’s this summer. She did not just want to learn French in the classroom for a grade, but she desired to be fluent so that she could pass it on to her future family. This heart led her to want to volunteer at a local French immersion school and have a weekly lunch where we would only speak French. Tragically, neither one of those had yet started due to the busyness of the beginning of this semester.
She also possessed an unwavering faith and was an active member of the Catholic Church.
Now, those of us left behind have to hold onto our faith. My only hope is I may see her one day and we can once again speak French and have a good time together, but in a much happier place.
God is the only one who always truly knows what is going on deep inside every person. We must treat people in the way we desire ourselves because as I know all too well, things aren’t always as they seem.
Life is fragile and so very valuable. People often fail to realize how temporary their problem is and yet how permanent of a solution suicide gives. Do not take your time with your loved ones for granted because it is so very true that we are not promised to be with them tomorrow.