So, you may have noticed a few ads in last week’s paper about the “Miss Off The Cuff Pageant.”
Wanna know more?
NO. Well here it is anyway.
You can win a date with me!
And you thought Christmas was over.
All you need to do is this: walk over to Hodges Hall, and in the basement you will find a room named B39.
In that room you will find someone to ask, “Where can I pick up an application to go on a date with that hot, hunk of man Jay Melder, and they will quickly hand you a short little form to fill out.
It’s that easy, and so am I.
Some of you might be wondering, “Why in the hell would I want to go on a date with that?”
I’ll answer that by asking another question, “Do you enjoy free dinners at really nice restaurants?”
I know I do, and if you don’t apply neither of us will be able to enjoy it – so apply damn-it.
Plus, you’ll learn how to make dough-nuts, and how often will you have a chance to do that?
Opportunity knocks but once my friends … answer the door!
Besides filling out the small, itty bitty application you must be more than 18 years of age and currently enrolled at LSU.
So “Miss Off The Cuff” could be “Mister Off The Cuff”.
Hey, I’ll try anything twice.
Anywho, it’s going to be some night; limo rides, cheesy fondu, sugary dough-nuts, and in the words of my masseuse Yoko, “A good finish” … if you’re lucky.
Plus, the evening will be well-documented.
That’s right, it’s your shot to get discovered.
We will be followed by an entourage of camera men, photographers, journalists, and the occasional red carpet.
So what happens when the cameras are turned off, that’s all up to you and how much red wine I can feed you throughout the night.
(Yes, yes, I know … You must be at least 21 years of age to drink … no exceptions. Can I continue Dean? Thank you.)
SWM looking for S?? at LSU no STD between ages of 18 -99. Must be fun, looking for adventure, open mind, love for dough-nuts,
“Do you like pina coladas, getting caught in the rain, if you’re not into yoga, if you have half a brain, if you like making love at mid-night in the dunes of the cape, you’re the the love that I’ve hoped for, right to me and escape.” (I love that song.)
Hey, if nothing else it will be fun.
I’ll make you famous.