We all have friends who insist on being a little bit different. And different is good. But is there ever a time when being different gets carried away? Well, I guess that depends on who you ask, and sometimes, who you are talking about.
I have a friend, we’ll call him John, who fits the “different” bill. He is a white, middle class kid who grew up in suburban New Orleans. John thinks he grew up on the other side of eight mile though, talking incessantly about the new twenties he’ll be rollin’ on when he gets his next check, and blabs about how he’s “gonna punk that lil’ bitch next time he rolls up on his crib.” Never mind that John’s raps sound like Weird Al, that he makes $7.00 an hour and drives an ’88 civic, or that the “punk bitch” is his fifteen year old neighbor (who would probably kick John’s ass anyway). For the most part, though, John is good guy.
The trouble comes when John complains about how no one gives him any “props.” Though he is my friend, I feel compelled to explain that perhaps he just tries too hard. His argument, naturally, is that he’s “just keepin’ it real.”
What is “real,” though? I don’t really know. What I do know, however, is that all too often people try emulate images that seem to be popular, and in the process they lose all sense of themselves. Furthermore, our generation is unique in that we consider standing out in a crowd a good thing. Often times people attempt to stand out by over-playing the way they dress or act rather than being themselves. Thus, paradoxically, people often attempt to fit in by standing out.
Whether it’s a frat boy clad in Polo and Gap and or a high school kid wearing black make-up and nail polish, people often try to find a niche for themselves, and end up losing their sense of individuality in the process.
If you are starting to get offended by this column, then you might be one of these people.
We don’t ever want to admit it, but in a way we are all conformists to some degree.
To an extent, it is just part of our social fabric, but when it interferes with who really are, it becomes a detriment to self-actualization. Don’t think that I am simply picking on people who have an alternative sense of style, though. In many cases, people whose alternative sense of style merely echoes their individuality.
My friend Joe is a perfect example. Sure, he wore Birkenstocks to prom and he always listens to Led Zepplin, but he and his girlfriend, a Gucci-clad sorority girl, are a perfect match.
Never mind the fact she smells like Oscar de la Renta and he smells like Oscar the Grouch; their personalities are a match and they aren’t lost in the way they present themselves. What’s really important is that they are comfortable in their own skin (and consequently with each others’ too).
Next time you are considering a new look or fresh haircut, don’t only worry about what people are going to think. Ask yourself if you can look in the mirror and be happy with the change.
I normally hate quoting pop culture, but in this case it suits my purpose: Billy Joel said it best- “first they’ll say you can’t sleep alone in new place, then they’ll say you can’t sleep with somebody else; either way, it’s O.K., you’ll wake up with yourself.”