Growing up, I noticed a lot of unhealthy relationship norms in my hometown. I knew from early on that I wouldn’t be focused on settling down as soon as high school ended, like others around me had. Other people dated for the majority of their school careers and ended up with tarnished reputations for their  early adulthood. 

Once I moved to Baton Rouge, I quickly realized that wasn’t the case for many people here. Every student I met here was also in pursuit of their individuality, focused mainly on college and making friends with like-minded people. It was clear I was finally operating on the same schedule as my peers.  

However, as time went on, I experienced my friends go through major heartbreaks and relationships and now the majority of my close circle has chosen to get married. It all happened faster than I could’ve imagined. In my perspective, it seemed like while I’m trying to tread through my early twenties and solidify my individuality. My friends found that settling down was their next plan of action. 

Now, I think long-term committed relationships are a part of the human experience. I really do believe it’s so beautiful to witness people meet one another at a pivotal point in their young life and inherently grow together. But, I think it’s important to remember that some relationships are only for a season.

The only constant you can count on in your life is you. I’ve always been independent. I was raised by an independent mother and that heavily impacted my views on potential codependency and/or codependent habits in relationships. In a perfect world, you could balance being in relationships and also capitalizing on the person you’re trying to become. 

But, this isn’t a perfect world and unfortunately, romantic relationships take self-sacrifice; your time, your tears, your blood, your patience and vital years that we could be using to nurture our own habits and passions instead of pouring that into a futile relationship.  

We’ve all known a person who loses themselves in their relationships. Your life is expected to change in many ways when you make a commitment, sure. But, it doesn’t mean you have to. Don’t forget the commitments you made to others and yourself before falling in love with your partner. Signifiers like these reignite the reason I believe young relationships contribute to codependency not romance. 

I’ve never been in a committed relationship, and I can say that it has suited me well. When you think of me, I want you to think of Blair Bernard, the unique, intelligent, glamorous, glowing, bodacious, gorgeous, independent woman, regardless of my relationship status.

Blair Bernard is a 21-year-old theatre major from Lafayette, La.