Let’s talk about sex, baby. Let’s talk about you and me. Playful lyrics aside, let’s actually dive into the topic we all dread having conversations about with our parents: intercourse, better known as sex.
Sex has been a topic I’ve wanted to cover for a while now. Sex shouldn’t be taboo to comment on, and frankly, if it were being done right, we’d talk about it more. Frankly, I’ve just gotten really annoyed at hearing other young women’s stories about hooking up with guys and not feeling satisfied by them — whether that was sexually, through conversation or because his porn-addled brain could no longer function.
That being said, dating comes with trial and error, so apply the same rule to sex. As long as we’re being safe, ladies, settling for bad bed chemistry is just the same as accepting going on a bad first date over and over. You wouldn’t have sex with someone you swipe left on in a dating app, would you? Swipe left in real life.
While there are troubling facets to the quest for young dating, sexual pleasure is something we should also learn about when getting to know another person. I don’t think it’s out of the box to require your dating and sexual partner to get you off. I think I, amongst other young, educated women, am really just tired of having a lousy time in bed.
Ladies have failed to remember that we are the golden goose. We are tirelessly held up to this unrealistic sexual expectation, and we no longer shall fear slut shaming just because we appreciate a healthy, sexually charged partner. Don’t be scared to dump him just because the sex was bad; they’d do the same thing to us — they do the same thing to us.
Remember, just because he’s cute or looks a little like your favorite ex doesn’t make him the expert. Let’s drop the expectation of hooking up with the hot stranger and having the best sex of your life only to never see them again, because the chances of you probably catching a cold sore are higher than you actually orgasming with this person.
Admittedly, getting to know another person’s body is hard. It’s nigh impossible to know everyone’s turn-ons from just meeting them, and it’s critical to remember that a woman’s body has a few more components than a guy’s — and we all know that guys tend to prioritize only their components.
Fellas, pleasure is about all five senses to a woman. What we hear, touch and see; give us a little foreplay, take us on an adventure — show us more than just wanting us physically. Women know when you only care about your own needs, and if you’re okay with that as a man, you’re not a man.
Boys are taught from the media, and also from a lack of education in schools, that girls exist for their pleasure. Obviously, phones contribute to this. After all, instead of getting the birds-and-bees talk in middle school, boys just learned about sexuality from porn and adult TV. It tarnishes the female anatomy. This has killed the slow burn of actually committing to having sex and the intimate build-up women lack feeling for in this current era.
If you haven’t gathered any liberating, affirmative confidence from this article, just remember the conversation is bigger than men — and so is sex. Don’t be afraid to drop a man if he isn’t pleasing you. Center your pleasure.
Blair Bernard is a 22-year-old theatre major from Lafayette, La.
