We were on our third round of drinks, Tonto, Cash Barr and myself, when we came to the conclusion we needed to stop striking out.
I thought it was a good conclusion, but I still wasn’t convinced we could do anything about it.
“It’s the one-out-of-10 rule,” Cash said.
“The what rule? Man you kids are crazy,” Tonto replied.
“No, seriously. One out of every 10 girls will be interested in you – it’s scientific.”
I was feeling better already. I mean, if I had science on my side, what else do you need?
And so the experiment began, and of course I was the control.
Null hypothesis: The one-out-of-10 rule is a crock, and Jay will fail miserably at every attempt.
Alternative hypothesis: One out of 10 girls will be interested in Jay enough to give him her phone number.
Materials: Jay, girls.
Methods: Make Jay go talk to girls and record conversation’s outcome.
Results: zero out of 46 girls were interested enough in Jay to give him their phone number.
Conclusion: We reject the alternative hypothesis and accept the null hypothesis that states that the 1-out-of-10 rule is a crock of s–t, and so is the one-out-of-20 rule and the one-out-of-40 rule.
F–k science!
“What about the L.I.P.?” Cash said.
“What is L.I.P.?”
You know, the Least Interested Party. It’s a little trick where you act like you’re not interested. You act like they’re more interested in you than you are with them.
“Jay, go try it on that girl over there.”
So I walked over.
“Hey, what’s up?”
“Nothing,” she said, “you?”
“-What?”
“I said, you – what’s up with you?”
“Oh, nothing, just sitting here bored out of my mind.”
Silence.
“Why don’t you ask me a question?”
“OK, umm, what are you drinking?”
“Listen lady, you can buy me a drink, but I’m not promising I’m gonna finish it. I’m really not as interested in you as you are with me.”
“You’re a freak – I’m leaving.”
“Ouch, that looked bad, buddy.”
“Yeah, what happened, whitey? Did you break and act interested in her?”
“Hell no, I stood firm to the L.I.P. … I don’t know what happened.”
Thoughtful silence.
Wait a minute. What if she was trying to be the L.I.P. too? I mean, she had to have dug me.
“Oh, definitely dude. You could tell she liked you. She was sweating a lot.”
“You kids are fools, man.”
Jay is the other white meat. Contact him at [email protected]