My ringtone happens to be “Sexual Healing” by Marvin Gaye.
Classy, right? I think so, but there are sometimes when I just put it on vibrate because maybe “Baby, I’m hot just like an oven,” isn’t what I want people to know about me.
So there I am paying the mechanic for some work he did my Honda, or, as I call it, the Impregnation Station.
He’s a man’s man, right; muscular, greasy – all that good stuff.
As he’s running my Madonna Official Fan Club MasterCard suddenly Hootie and the Blowfish starts up with “I Only Want to be You.”
Looking quite embarrassed, the mechanic rushes one hand into his pocket to silence his call.
I figure it must be a specific ring for his girlfriend or something. But then he pulls his cell phone out to see who’s calling, meaning that Hootie is his general ringtone.
Don’t get me wrong, I love Hootie. “Cracked Rear View” is one of my all-time favorite albums. But this totally blew me away – who knew mechanics liked Hootie?
Anywho, I think you can tell a lot about a person by their ringtone.
For example, you can tell I am a deeply sensual man well practiced in the art of love making.
I’ve heard others with tunes from Clay Aiken, Kelly Clarkson or Avril Lavigne – these people scream, “I’m a virgin, but I wear shirts that say Heartbreaker and Love Kitten, oh yeah and I sit at the third table during lunch.”
A good friend of mine rocks out to “Don’t You Forget About Me” by the Simple Minds – he still wears Member’s Only jackets.
Yet another friend has Kenny Roger’s “Coward of the County” as her ringtone – that one is a little harder to pin down.
Basically you get the point. But in this fast-paced world we live in, when anything you could want to know about someone is a Google search away, why then do we still search for something else to tell people about ourselves?
Is it the need to be individuals? “Oh, your phone is attached to your skull too, well mine has jewels glued to it.”
Or do we just like to drown out serenity with a variety of ringtones?
Who knows, but all I can tell you is, “The sea is stormin’ up inside of me. And when I get that, I get that feeling I need-“