When 98 Degrees’ Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson first emerged onto the music scene, it was highly unexpected that they would rise out of their mildly successful but obscure careers and establish a reputation as a wildly popular on-screen duo.
Through numerous small screen ventures such as commercials, music videos, and jointly hosting Saturday Night Live, Lachey and Simpson have somehow captured the attention of young people coast to coast, and they will not stop until they have brainwashed America’s youth.
Both having successful music careers, the pair first made their appearance on the small screen with their MTV reality show “Newlyweds,” which chronicles their fame, fortune, and married life. Week after week, Simpson and Lachey attack audiences with vanity and stupidity such as Simpson wondering whether “Chicken of the Sea” tuna is actually tuna or chicken. Regardless of Simpson’s mind-numbing antics, the show surprisingly manages to have achieved wide success.
Feeding off of their “Newlyweds” hype, they recently made an effort to revive the “Sonny and Cher” genre of primetime entertainment with the ABC special, “The Nick and Jessica Variety Hour.” The show featured several comedic skits, music performances, and numerous guest appearances by favorites such as Kenny Rogers, Babyface, and Kermit the Frog. The show featured even more of Simpson’s depressing stupidity, as well as her gawdy rendition of “Take My Breath Away.”
While Lachey and Simpson could very well be known as the next generation Sonny and Cher, perhaps a more appropriate title would be the next generation Bonnie and Clyde. Like thieves in the night, they have begun to bombard our homes and suck out our souls with Simpson’s mindless cracks and Lachey’s superficial but equally dumb demeanor.
In light of this, one cannot help but wonder what about this couple would make them such pop icons.
Through “Newlyweds,” Lachey and Simpson both present a pristine, virgin-like image that conveys an embodiment of success to audiences. However if these two are symbols of success, humanity indeed has a long way to go.
The pair has made quite a name for themselves across the board in Hollywood, this much is true. But, being stoned to death by astonishingly stupid one-liners will cause the star spouses to wear out their welcome. God help us.