So, I have in my possession one of the first and few LSU baseball PEZ dispensers.
Be proud, fellow Tigers, for we are the first and only collegiate property to be memorialized on the prestigious head of a PEZ dispenser.
As a matter of fact, the LSU dispenser is going for $40 on E-Bay, which is quite ironic because E-bay was founded as a tool to trade, buy and sell PEZ dispensers.
Well, I’m not sure if it’s all that ironic, but it’s cool nonetheless.
Anywho, the candy dispenser was given to me by a close, dear friend — the lovely, the talented, the
exquisite Lady D’Ann.
Thank you, D’Ann, and a happy day to you.
Anywho2, since today is a perfect LSU day (well, I’m actually writing this yesterday, so by today I mean yesterday, but if I meant yesterday on the day I wrote/write this I would be referring to the day before yesterday which today would mean just that, but yesterday it would mean a day before — so really I’m writing tomorrow today, which to you would be yesterday) I will write about all things LSU.
Mark Emmert wears “frat straps.”
For those of you who don’t know what “frat straps” are, they are the small cords that attach to the ends of sunglasses and hang around your neck.
We call them “frat straps” because they are required summer attire for the male Greek community.
How’s that for reaching out to the students?
I want to play Risk with Nick Saban. I think I could kick his ass, but it all really depends on who controls North Africa at the beginning. (The Ukraine is weak!) That’s from Seinfield… sorry.
Anywho3, Our Alma Mater sucks as a song.
It really does, people. For one, the words are way off for the melody.
I mean c’mon, how many syllables can you force out of the word “live”?
So I am going to print the words to the Alma Mater so everyone can have a accurate copy on hand, and feel free to send revised and updated copies to the Chanc.
Where stately oaks and broad magnolias
Shade we shall not park,
There stands our dear Old Alma Mater
Go back to yours dear Mark
Fond memories that waken in our hearts
A tender glow,
And make us happy for the love
To which girls have learned to say no.
All hail to thee our Alma Mater, molder of mankind,
May greater glory, love unending
Be forever mine.
Our worst in life will be thy worth
We pray to keep it true,
And may thy spirit live in us, for now LSU.
That was a poor attempt, I know, but I’ve got a deadline, people.
Anywho4, I’ve been rippen’ on Doc Emmert a lot this column, but I love the guy.
He really has done a lot for the University.
However, he’s never taken the time to write or call to tell me what an amazing job I’m doing, and how my work is instrumental in the progression of this fine Flagship Institution.
I’ll be waiting by the phone.
P.S. I scooped the whole PEZ dispenser story thing from the news staff.
Ha, ha!!! And Jack says I’m not a journalist.