An experiment in which LSU allowed the sale of alcohol at the sand volleyball team’s contest against Arizona State went awry Monday, when a heavy under-estimation of drinks needed at the event led to a minor riot before the match even got underway.
LSU Athletics director Joe Alleva said the administration chose to sell beer and mixed beverages at the event in an attempt to “test the waters” before allowing it at larger sporting events, such as football, basketball and baseball.
“We feel allowing the purchase of alcohol at sporting events can only enhance the LSU experience for fans and especially students,” Alleva said. “Alcohol and sports are virtually synonymous, anyway. We’re just trying to cut out the middle man.”
Mango’s began selling drinks an hour prior to the start of the first set, and Tiger fans took full advantage, as chaos ensued upon the match’s first serve.
It all began innocently, when junior business senior Bud Adams tried to join the action and stumbled onto court No. 2, making a dive for the ball in front of LSU senior Kaitlin Hatcher.
Although he failed to make contact and executed a perfect belly flop into the sand, he quickly recovered and threw his fists in the air as the raucous crowd rooted him on.
“It was actually pretty fun at first,” said Russell Brock, LSU sand volleyball coach. “I was a little confused, but he just had so much enthusiasm about sand volleyball, which I can really appreciate. Sometime you just can’t help yourself from getting involved.”
But things took an ugly turn when Adams looked down to find he spilled his beer while performing his heroics, prompting him to let out a yell of profanities and exclaim, “I paid $12 for this drink!”
Adams grabbed a volleyball and attempted to punt it in frustration, but he instead shanked it into senior philosophy major Mary Daniel’s face, breaking her nose.
The confused Adams attempted to apologize before taking the defensive and trying to prove his sobriety.
“I’m not drunk, you’re drunk,” Adams slurred before hunching over. “Now stand back. I think I’m about to vomit.”
The two agreed to make amends over a beer, but tragedy struck when they realized all 10 kegs provided and the bar’s entire stock of liquor had been consumed before the match even started.
“I mean, we appreciate the business; I’m pretty sure we made enough money today to keep us afloat for the next three years,” said Mango’s owner Tim Bourgois. “I just don’t know what we’re going to tell our regular customers. We likely won’t be able to restock for another week or so.”
To make matters worse, the rowdy crowd was stuck at Mango’s because of a policy enacted by the LSU Athletics Department requiring those purchasing alcohol to relinquish their car keys until the contest’s end.
Upon learning this news, one spectator jumped over the bar and used Mango’s PA system to frantically announce they were out booze, causing panic to erupt across the venue.
Brock attempted to take control of the situation by getting on the PA himself.
“I know you are all upset about the lack of refreshments, but we don’t need alcohol to have a good time,” Brock said over the speaker. “I mean, we’re watching sand volleyball, the greatest sport to ever be conceived by man. Let’s just relax and have a good time.”
But the crowd only became more frantic, and doubting fans began trashing the bar in an attempt to find some hidden liquor.
It looked as though things were going to get violent, when senior mass communications major Jack Miller came to the rescue in the nick of time, claiming “he knew a guy,” who could get a few more kegs to Mango’s if everyone agreed to pitch in.
Everyone agreed, and Miller’s hookup provided 12 more kegs. Miller only collected enough money to pay for three of them, but was assured by fans that they would pay him back him “eventually.”
By this point, everyone had forgotten about the volleyball match, and they occupied Mango’s for a couple hours before finishing the kegs and making a Taco Bell run.
“Overall, I’d say it was an overwhelming success,” Alleva said. “Sure, there was no match, and I’m pretty sure the Mango’s staff was technically held hostage for a short time, but that just goes to show you the great spirit of LSU’s fan base. Not to mention, the money we made today is on par with football games where Alabama comes town. I would expect to see alcohol being sold at all LSU sporting events as soon as this fall.”