Jojo the “Bowbow” Siwa, karma sure is a bitch isn’t it?
For the unaware, Siwa, the little girl from Dance Moms and artist behind the generation-defining song “Boomerang,” has gone bad. Indeed, take a moment to collect yourself; I know it’s world shattering news.
Indeed, the little blonde girl with the slickest pony and biggest bow you know went “bad.” Siwa debuted a new… look? She’s donned an emo-anime-rocker-luchador appearance, draped in darker colors, dripping in rhinestones and missing her signature flat skull, trading it out for a mohawk (hopefully she has the receipt).
She may have made the most dramatic shift in appearance and creed since Lucifer’s fall from the heavens.
Moving on from Siwa’s new bad girl appearance, let’s move onto the more egregious sins she’s recently committed: her musical sins.
Part of what made Siwa such an icon was her bubblegum pop music career, so to help establish her new wild-child brand, she of course needed to reinvent her sound. Gone are the days of “Kid in a Candy Store” and “D.R.E.A.M.”
Siwa released her song “Karma” earlier this month with an accompanying music video.
Watching the “Karma” music video for the first time produced a feeling in me that I can only assume has been shared with those who have stared down a nuclear weapon falling directly above their home.
The music video is a masterclass in making people uncomfortable. It takes place in a world I can only imagine is entirely ocean, minus the small island Siwa has her sexcapades on.
The life-changing video begins with a glimpse of evil Siwa decked out in evil clothes. Then a woman wearing red (because evil vibes, duh) enters the scene. It’s implied that this oh-so-sinfully clad woman and Siwa had coitus.
The scene flips, and there’s a yacht. On it, Siwa in white with her half up half down ponytail dancing with a woman. There’s a terrible jumpcut at the one minute and two second timestamp, because Siwa can’t land her stunt in time. Disappointing.
If you’re curious, Abby Lee Miller, Siwa’s former dance instructor and arch nemesis, did react to the music video/snuff film.
Then Siwa goes back to her bad girl persona, and it’s all a blur to be honest, like some lovecraftian horror that damages my memory each time I watch it.
But I think the gist of the song is thus: Siwa made mistakes… or was cheated on… or cheated on someone… or… something?
Besides the minimal effort put into this song and dance, there’s one more interesting thing about the “Karma” scenario. Siwa, the bad girl that she is, didn’t write the song. Siwa said the song was simply pitched to her, most likely by record execs and consultants. The song “Karma” has been floating around for years and has been taken to the recording studio by many different artists, two of which are Miley Cyrus and Brit Smith.
Smith didn’t release the track after she first recorded it, and years later, Siwa got her bad girl hands on it and released the song we’ve all come to know.
However, Smith recently released the song herself under the title, “Karma’s A Bitch.”
For some reason or another, Smith’s version has been very well received, beating Siwa’s charting on the Itunes store. Karma is a bitch, it would seem.
What exactly did Siwa do to deserve this cosmically ironic karma? It’d be pretty easy to blame her strange and disrespectful behavior. Siwa proclaimed herself the “gaypop” progenitor, knowing damn well that Ethel Cain, Sophie, Slayyyter, Chappell Roan and RuPual have all done what she’s doing and 10 times better.
Unfortunately, those are just the gayest artists of the last decade or so. Siwa could go back decades upon decades and find herself facing the queer disco divas of the ‘70s or the understated gay folk songwriters of the ‘60s. Point is, thinking Siwa invented gay pop or gay music in general is delusional.
Siwa, if you’re reading this, you’re not a gay icon, you’re scary. Please stop this and act normal; the world doesn’t need bad girl Siwa right now.
The world needs glitter queen hair-bow Jojo Siwa back.
Garrett McEntee is an 18-year-old English freshman from Benton.
