An era of Upper East Side mayhem is coming to an end. The premiere of Gossip Girl’s final season finds its leading lady Serena van der Woodsen missing in action as her pretentious posse of pretty-faced frenemies search for her. Even with a few clever lines, slapping matches and uncomfortable glimpses of skin, the premiere falls short of anything but boring. Clusters of overly-contrived scenes flutter aimlessly throughout the episode in an attempt to tie up the previous season’s loose ends, leaving viewers to suffer through an hour of melodramatic acting in vain. The only comedic relief comes from Michelle Trachtenberg as Georgina, but even her character is mudded as the show becomes increasingly reminiscent of a ’90s soap opera. Advice for those brave enough to tune in next week? Turn the sound off and stare at the beautiful people.

Grade: F