I don’t usually get hyped about elections – unless the Antichrist is running. Barack Obama, who are you really? I mean, I know I heard on CNN that you did some charity work in Chicago, and I know you’re a Senator, but come on. Some of us catch on quicker than others.   I watch The History Channel a fair bit, so I consider myself semi-educated on the subject. According to one of its programs, the Antichrist supposedly comes from nowhere and rises to power quickly.   Well Mr. Obama, I’d never even heard your name until less than a year ago. Doesn’t that seem a little suspicious? Sure, an argument could be made that I never read a newspaper before then either, but that’s a weak argument at best.    His whole name is like that “666” thing. “Barack” has six letters, his middle name has seven and his last name only has five. So if you take an average of these names, it’s totally dead-on “666” kind of stuff. And my, what a forked tongue you have, Mr. Obama. Your speeches are nearly divine – I mean, the stuff of prophets. You promise to carry us all from a place of darkness to a fruitful economy. You’re so dreamy.    Wait a second there, Mr. Senator. You just wrote that memo with your left hand. That’s not very Christian-like. Lefties are the devil’s chosen. That’s how some interpret the Bible. So are redheads, but that’s what Patti from “Millionaire Matchmaker” says.    Here’s what’s scary: The Obama cult is pretty formidable. His rallies bring thousands – and some of those who attend claim it changed their life. His messages have been called “messianic,” and if that’s true, then Obama is definitely in the running for bringing on The Rapture.   If I needed any further proof, a recent Daily Reveille column a few weeks ago on faith brought a peculiar fact to mind. The Mayan people have stated the end of the world will come on Dec. 21, 2012. Were Obama to be elected this year, his first term would end in 2012. I will be 26 when I die. That’s one year short of Hendrix, Cobain, Morrison and Joplin. Don’t be the one to rob me of joining the “Forever 27 Club,” Obama.
—-Contact Ryan Sands at rsands@lsureveille.com