The other day, I went on what I like to call my inspiration run — a time when you faithful readers out there send magnificent ideas for Off the Cuff topics straight to my brain through extrasensory perception.
I know what many of you are thinking: “No, this guy obviously was running away from all of us Cuff critics.”
All I have to say is either way, I would have been forced to write about issues that are important to LSU students.
So as I made my way down Nicholson Drive toward campus in the 93-degree heat and 150 percent humidty, LSU Zen became clear to me.
All you medicine men, prophetesses and shehehamans must have been working really hard that day because your messages came through!
Zen is about suffering and how to bring an end to it.
Here are some ways you can bring an end to your suffering here at LSU.
No. 1: Get student football tickets
This is a must for any full-fledged student.
There is no suffering like waking up for those early (10:30 a.m.) classes Monday through Friday and studying for exams all of your professors decide to give on the same day. By the end of the week, you just need to kick back and have some fun
This is where the Tigers come in.
There is nothing like being in the student section in Death Valley and hollering for the Tigers on a Saturday night.
With a solid performance by the team and the traditional cheers you’ll perform with your fellow students (along with chemical enhancement for some), your suffering from the previous week of education surely will be forgotten.
My initial attempt at purchasing tickets online for this fall’s football season nearly made my heart leap from my chest: the Web site would not allow me to purchase tickets!
I really freaked out. If I did not get season student tickets, I would have to leave Baton Rouge and head north to LSU-Shreveport.
This would not be good.
If you do not get your paws on some of these, then you will be confined to an eternal student’s suffering. There is not much the Zen Cuffist can do to help your bad karma.
No. 2: See Charlie’s Angels
If you need a break from your summertime blues, boredom or just the heat, there is a heavenly escape for you.
Charlie’s Angles: Full Throttle is the cure for your humidity-induced hell.
I know, all the ladies out there are getting ready to label me a male chauvenist. They will think I enjoyed the movie solely because of its three heroines gallivanting around the globe in leather pants or tight mini-skirts.
While I admittedly enjoyed such escapades, I think this movie can bring enjoyment to nearly every type of moviegoer out there.
The Angels really kicked some butt. No one likes jerks or cold-blooded killers, and these ladies took care of them in stride (and high heels).
Mix a little corny humor with lots of explosions, and the Angels will bring you the perfect end to a nasty summer at LSU.
No. 3: Don’t ready Harry Potter
For everyone who thought I would say pick up a nice book to sit by the pool and read, I will glady say not to give the little wizard a chance.
Sure, J.K. Rowling — the Harry Potter author — did a lot to get the world reading.
But all these Potter freaks take this stuff a little too seriously.
If you are suffering because you see your friends who think the world is full of people wearing horn-rimmed glasses who are trying to cast spells on the people they hate, there is a simple way to solve this problem
Burn the books! Step on the glasses! Throw out the spells!
The Potter fans will cry. They will surround you and chant their crazy, witchcraft mantras.
You will laugh, though –a deep, gut laugh– and your suffering will end.
Contact Adam Causey at [email protected] if you think he has really lost his mind to the heat of summer.