The NFL Draft is still 2 1/2 months away, but it’s never too early to predict how the New Orleans Saints are going to goof up with their picks this year.
New Orleans is famous for its draft blunders and this year will top all.
Before the official draft gets started, coach Jim Haslett does his best Mike Ditka impression, trading all the team’s 2006 through 2010 picks, Joe Horn’s cell phone, the entire offensive line, a year’s supply of beignets, Bourbon Street and the leasing rights to the Superdome for Eli Manning in the first pick of the draft.
Manning, following in his father’s footsteps, becomes the centerpiece for an underachieving team similar to the team Manning left at Ole Miss. The offense is mediocre at best and the defense is softer than a mountain of Charmin tissue.
With the 18th pick in the first round of the 2004 draft, the Saints select running back Maurice Clarett from Ohio State. The move would seem surprising, especially when Deuce McAllister rushed for 1,641 yards and eight touchdowns in 2003, but the Saints are probably getting ready to ship McAllister to another team on the verge of the Super Bowl.
Clarett only played a year of college and had to fight through tons of red tape to even get in the draft, but he’s definitely ready to take on the lightning-fast defenders.
In a surprise move, the Saints packaged their two second-round picks and a third-round choice in a trade with the St. Louis Rams for safety Jason Seahorn. This is a need position for the team and Seahorn’s prima donna attitude and solid tackling will make the New Orleans secondary a force to be reckoned with — or at least have its pants on straight.
With their fifth-round pick, the Saints copied a draft strategy from the Minnesota Vikings. The New Orleans war room was so incredibly bored from ESPN2’s extensive draft coverage and analysis that they passed out and the pick went to the Panthers. Carolina took LSU wide receiver Devery Henderson, who will beat the Saints on a “Blue Grass Miracle” type play to send the team to 8-8, knock them out of the playoffs and secure another batch of mediocre draft picks.
Finally, the Saints take their own “Mr. Irrelevant” with the team’s seventh-sround selection and grab LSU quarterback Matt Mauck. Unfortunately, Saints General Manager Mickey Loomis can’t sign Mauck because he refused the 3-year, $100 contract, which was all the Saints could offer. Mauck instead goes to dental school, making more money than the Saints’ next five quarterbacks combined.
Saints draft predictions
February 11, 2004