There is a Scrooge among us this holiday season, and her name is the CCCC.
I’m really not sure what all those “C’s” stand for, but it sounds pretty racist to me.
However, it’s not racial supremacy she’s after – it’s prohibition. Wednesday night the East Baton Rouge Metro Council allowed a bit of legislation to pass up to the next level, and when it comes to a vote next Wednesday, it doesn’t look pretty for all you 2-for-1’ers or even you Ladies’ Nighters. The legislation would ban all drink specials from 8 p.m. to some ungodly time in the morning.
This of course being the appropriate step in swaying young people’s natural instinct to binge drink.
But I say, it only makes the trip across the river to West Baton Rouge Parish that much sweeter.
Maybe even worse, since of course us young people can’t help but pump chemicals into our bodies on a daily basis, we discover that without drink specials, crack is cheaper than whiskey.
Sounds like a good time to me.
But interesting enough the legislation would not prohibit drink specials before 8 p.m. This is because the old greasy politicians who run this parish wouldn’t dare risk their happy hour margarita dates everyday, or that would mean having to go home to wife and kids and actually do some parenting, which one day might stop this seemingly incurable drinking disease we young people have. That would be too much.
Well, it sure sounds like a loop hole to me kids. Let’s start drinking at two in afternoon, and send a message to the CCCC that we will stand our ground, at least figuratively (we will be drunk, remember). And we will continue to binge drink and continue to smoke crack. Oh, and we will all be driving home around at 7:30 p.m. instead of 2 a.m.
Please! Give me a break. To the CCCC: diverting a problem is not a solution. Hurting businesses that can on some level control drinking by young people is absurd. The truth is you, as an organization, cannot stop young people from experimenting with harmful substances. They will do so at home, with no supervision and no one to cut them off, and they will still drive.
Lobby for more policemen, or grants for alcohol education or for better dry events for young people to attend. The way you win is by making your side more appealing than the other.
This is a useless piece of legislation, but it’s about par for the course for this Parish.
So I hope to see all of you there Wednesday, 222 St. Louis Street, in the Council Chambers on the third floor of the Governmental Building at 4 p.m. (which is still an OK time for drink specials) and stand up for your right to drink cheaply.
Good Luck on finals. Happy holidays! Drink responsibly and use protection.