You wanna know what sucks?
Automatic Teller Machines eating your debit card — that sucks.
And it sucks for a couple of reasons: one, because you are so broke that the bank doesn’t even want you to have a debit card, and two, because it ate your f***ing card!
Now that I actually have a few dollars in the bank, I can’t get to it because I don’t have an ATM card, and since I have to order a new one, the little money I do have now has to go for the purchasing of a new bank card.
A card I won’t receive for another 5 to 10 business days, but it doesn’t matter anyway because I have no money to take out!
F***!
It feels good to scream that word every now and then.
Let’s do it together… ready… set… go
FFFFFFFFFFFF*************K!
I feel better. Do you?
Anywho, this weekend is Mardi Gras.
And for all of you non-French majors “Mardi Gras” means “boobs and beads.”
That’s right, “boobs and beads.”
It’s the one time out of the year that the girl next door thinks that plastic beads are so valuable that they’re worth a good quick flash of the girls.
Seriously, try walking around campus next week with plastic beads (good plastic beads, the kind that light up and stuff) and see if you can get one girl to lift her shirt for the prize.
It won’t happen. Why?
Because the bead market has plummeted, and so if you wanna see some melons you’re just gonna have to do it the old fashioned way and take her to dinner.
But it better be a good dinner, because remember Mardi Gras is a Catholic holiday, and like any good Catholic, the same girl who flashed her purple thong for the coveted big white pearl beads a week ago is now repenting by being overly modest.
The same kinda deal as saying all those Hail Marys.
Sin… repent, sin… repent — the see-saw of Christianity.
Which brings me to a new topic.
Are you telling me we spent all that money on renovating Free Speech Alley just so those damn evangelists could stand on something taller and yell at me more?
There’s only so many times you can hear “you’re going to hell” from someone before you put your cigarette out on their face.
Tell me again — I dare you.
Tellin’ me I listen to devil music just because I wore my Pink Floyd “Animals” shirt.
You wanna know why I listen to rock-n-roll? ‘Cause Christian music sucks!
If Roger Waters put out an Album called “My Savior,” I’d probably buy it, but until then I’ll stick to The Grateful Dead.
Have a fun and safe Mardi Gras.
Peace!